Niles Crane
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Niles Crane
Niles Crane er en fictional karakterer i den kendte sitcom Frasier, han er altid ekstrem konkurrencepræget ligesom sin bror. Niles er kendt for altid at pudse den stol som han vil sætte sig på før at han sætter sig. I 3 sæson af Frasier i episoden "You Can Go Home Again" som er en alternativ genskabelse af første afsnit kommer Frasier og Niles på et tidspunkt ind på Cafe Nervosa, Frasier sætter sig ned og Niles pudser sin stol, Frasier kigger på Niles og siger:
Frasier: "I remember om your fourth birthday party. Grandmother took us to the park to ride the carousel, and made all those little children wait while you wiped off your painted pony".
Niles: "I was wearing Bermuda shorts and that saddle was slick with toddler sweat".
I Frasier følger man også Niles og hans voksene kærlighed til Daphne Moon, men ikke før i sæson 7 fortæller Niles overfor Daphne hvordan at han føler for hende. Niles brugte de første 5 sæsoner af Frasier til at tage sig sammen til at indse at hans ægteskab med den aldrig set Maris var en katastrofe. Men i de 5 sæsoner gav Niles hundredevis af historier om Maris, og den ene historie var mere vanvittig end den tidligere. Niles har altid været jaloux på Frasier og har derfor også været ekstrem konkurrencepræget, og været en konstant rival for Frasier. I sæson 3 af Frasier i episoden "The New Friend" som handler om at Frasier har lyst til at hænge ud sammen med nogle andre frem for Niles, vælger Niles og gøre det samme, både Niles nye ven og Frasiers nye ven går fra dem og så sætter Frasier sig ned med Niles og snakker om de ting som de ikke kan snakke med andre om, og i dette øjeblik finder de ud af at de på en måde bliver nødt til at forblive venner for de er de eneste som kan døje hinanden.
[redigér] Niles Crane citater
"Her lips said 'No', but her eyes said 'Read my lips.'"
"While you were over there mixing metaphors like a Cuisinart, I had a breakthrough."
"Oh, I'm sorry - were you talking? I was distracted by your head driving by on a bus." [In response to Frasier asking him if putting an ad in a magazine wasn't too commercial]
"How strange - I usually get some sign when Lilith is in town: dogs forming into packs, blood weeping from the walls."
"I thought all one had to do was draw a pentagram on the floor and chant 'I summon thee' three times" [upon finding out that Frasier cannot find Bebe Glazer, his ruthless agent]
"Oh dear, look at the time. I have a session with my multiple personality. Well, not to worry. If I'm late, he can just talk amongst himself."
"And I stormed out and slammed the door! Of course, it was that fourteenth century Bavarian cathedral door, so I had to get two of the servants to help me, but what it lacked in spontaneity it made up for in resonance."
"She's managed to have her urinal cake and eat it too." [upon Niles' discovery that Maris' family business is based in urinal cakes and not timber as she always claimed]
"He had a heart attack when he was out trimming Maris' elaborate hedge maze. The paramedics never had a chance." [reflecting on the passing of Maris' gardener Yoshi]
" The man who floats like a Lepidopteran and stings like a Hymenopteran!" [Describing how Frasier taught someone an etiquette lesson, after Muhammed Ali's famous catchphrase]
"Although I feel perfectly qualified to fill Frasier's radio shoes, I should warn you that while Frasier is a Freudian I am a Jungian. So there'll be no blaming mother today!"
"Frasier, I've made a fist, and I'm thinking of using it!" [Frasier's response: "The thumb goes on the outside!"]
"Don't you dare call me irrational, you know that makes me crazy!"
"[After being asked about sports] Oh yes, I can't sleep until I've found who hurled what ball through what apparatus."
"I drove all the way to the Oregon border, but I had to turn back because I had fruit in the car."
"Last night, I actually had a dream that my flour sack was abducted, and the kidnapper started sending me muffins in the mail!"
"I don't mind telling you we pushed our beds together that night. Which is quite a feat, her room, as you know, is across the hall."
"My taekwondo instructor says I'm two moves away from becoming quite threatening"
"Oh, for god's sake, Frasier don't waste your breath on this hairy, knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing troglodyte who's probably the only male in existence who suffers from penis envy!"
"Maris is pushing me over the edge which is ironic because she can't push. We learnt that the time she got stuck in the revolving door"

